Shortest horror story

13歲

孩子：媽咪,我已經13歲了
媽媽：我知道啊 :33
孩子：那我可以帶胸罩了嗎?
媽媽：不可以 !!!
孩子：可是姊姊13歲就開始帶胸-罩了耶..
媽媽：我說不可以,就是不可以 !!
孩子：那麼我可以用衛生棉了嗎?-
媽媽：不可以 !!!
孩子：姊姊13歲就開使用衛生棉-了
媽媽：我說過,不可以 !!...
孩子：那我..........-。
媽媽：給我閉嘴,你這個笨兒子 @@''
孩子 : .哦....

Math

涵養

上課時，老師看見小美面色不好，就問她怎麼了…

小美：「老師，我肚子痛，想挫屎。」

老師：「小美，女生說話要有涵養一點。
這是一個機會教育，換個斯文一點說法我才讓你去。」

小美：「老師…我的小菊花想吐， 那麼我可以去吐了嗎？」

老師：　 (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩_-̩̩̩-̩̩̩) ………………………...

小明：「老師，我尿急，我要去尿尿可以嗎？」

老師：「剛才不是說過說話要有涵養嗎？！」

小明：「老師，我的小香蕉想哭。」

老師：(⊙﹏⊙)………………

Lost my keys :D :D

A person goes to the doctor with his 3 year old son.

Person: - Doctor, my son has swallowed a key.

Doctor:- When did he swallowed a key?

Person:- 20 days back.

Doctor:- And you are coming to me now, after 20 days.

Person:- We had a duplicate key, but we lost it today.

Woman

ωσмєη ωιll вє ωσмєη...
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A 54 year old woman had a heart attack & was taken 2 the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up ?"

God said, "No, you have another 34 years 2 live."
...
Upon recovery, the woman decided 2 stay in the hospital
& have a face-lift, liposuction, & tummy tuck. She even changed her hair color

Finally she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the road on her way home, she was killed by a truck.

Arriving in front of God, she asked,

"You said I had another 34 years 2 live.
Why didn't you save me from the truck?"

(You'll love this)
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God replied:
"I couldn't recognize you!"

Handwriting in exam.. :D